Post by Noel on Jul 9, 2007 7:16:44 GMT -5
INT. AN OFFICE – DAY
An EXECUTIVE is in the process of conducting job interviews. Across the desk from him sits MOZILLA FIREFOX; a well-dressed, well-functioning, internet browser.
EXECUTIVE:
So, Mister Firefox, your knowledge and abilities seem to be exactly what we’re looking for to fill the internet browser vacancy.
FIFEFOX:
Why thank you, kind sir. I’m very eager to get started. Is there anything else you wanted to know?
EXECUTIVE:
Well, I did have one more question but I don’t think I have space for any new windows.
FIREFOX:
Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just load the answer into a new ‘tab’. Fire away.
EXECUTIVE:
Excellent! Well, we still need to negotiate the issue of your salary.
FIREFOX:
Don’t worry about that, I’m from a non-profit organisation.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, that’s good. I still have one more applicant to look at but I’ll be sure to let you know. It was a pleasure meeting you!
FIREFOX:
No problem. Goodbye.
Firefox gets up and leaves. The executive switches on his intercom.
EXECUTIVE:
Send in the next fellow please, Diane.
A few moments later, the door opens and MICROSOFT INTERNET EXPLORER 6 stumbles in, looking around in a dazed and confused manner.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, you must be Mister I.E. It’s a pleasu ... DEAR GOD!!!
I.E. :
What? What’s the problem? I don’t understand!
EXECUTIVE:
But your ... your face is a complete mess! You only have one eye, and your nose is on the side of your head!
I.E.:
Oh, right. That’s because I don’t really understand style sheets. I’m working on that.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, okay. Umm, have a seat.
I.E. moves EXTREMELY SLOWLY across the room and sits down.
EXECUTIVE:
So, Mister I.E., what previous experience do you have in this area?
I.E.:
(silence)
EXECUTIVE:
Umm, Mister I.E.?
I.E.:
Yeah, just give me a sec. I’m loading.
Suddenly, a CLONE OF I.E. pops up from under the desk. The Executive jumps out of his skin.
EXECUTIVE:
Eek!
I.E. CLONE:
Hey there! Would you like some Viagra?
EXECUTIVE:
I ... where did YOU come from? Pardon?
I.E.:
Oh, man ...
Yet another CLONE bursts into the office through the air vent and launches itself at the EXECUTIVE.
ANOTHER I.E. CLONE:
(grabbing the executive and shaking him by the collar)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU’VE WON A FREE LAPTOP!!!!!!
EXECUTIVE:
Aaargh, get off me! There’s so many of you!
The executive loses it and beats both of the Clones to death with his KEYBOARD.
EXECUTIVE:
Phew.
I.E.:
Sorry about that. That was embarrassing. It won’t happen again.
EXECUTIVE:
Okay, then. So what security features do you have?
I.E.:
Oh, that’s easy. The latest version of me has a plethora of new - (pause) – security additions that – (long pause) –
EXECUTIVE:
Can we hurry things up a bit?
I.E.:
Would you like a sexy screensaver?
EXECUTIVE:
Thank you for your time.
END SCENE.
An EXECUTIVE is in the process of conducting job interviews. Across the desk from him sits MOZILLA FIREFOX; a well-dressed, well-functioning, internet browser.
EXECUTIVE:
So, Mister Firefox, your knowledge and abilities seem to be exactly what we’re looking for to fill the internet browser vacancy.
FIFEFOX:
Why thank you, kind sir. I’m very eager to get started. Is there anything else you wanted to know?
EXECUTIVE:
Well, I did have one more question but I don’t think I have space for any new windows.
FIREFOX:
Oh, that’s okay. I’ll just load the answer into a new ‘tab’. Fire away.
EXECUTIVE:
Excellent! Well, we still need to negotiate the issue of your salary.
FIREFOX:
Don’t worry about that, I’m from a non-profit organisation.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, that’s good. I still have one more applicant to look at but I’ll be sure to let you know. It was a pleasure meeting you!
FIREFOX:
No problem. Goodbye.
Firefox gets up and leaves. The executive switches on his intercom.
EXECUTIVE:
Send in the next fellow please, Diane.
A few moments later, the door opens and MICROSOFT INTERNET EXPLORER 6 stumbles in, looking around in a dazed and confused manner.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, you must be Mister I.E. It’s a pleasu ... DEAR GOD!!!
I.E. :
What? What’s the problem? I don’t understand!
EXECUTIVE:
But your ... your face is a complete mess! You only have one eye, and your nose is on the side of your head!
I.E.:
Oh, right. That’s because I don’t really understand style sheets. I’m working on that.
EXECUTIVE:
Well, okay. Umm, have a seat.
I.E. moves EXTREMELY SLOWLY across the room and sits down.
EXECUTIVE:
So, Mister I.E., what previous experience do you have in this area?
I.E.:
(silence)
EXECUTIVE:
Umm, Mister I.E.?
I.E.:
Yeah, just give me a sec. I’m loading.
Suddenly, a CLONE OF I.E. pops up from under the desk. The Executive jumps out of his skin.
EXECUTIVE:
Eek!
I.E. CLONE:
Hey there! Would you like some Viagra?
EXECUTIVE:
I ... where did YOU come from? Pardon?
I.E.:
Oh, man ...
Yet another CLONE bursts into the office through the air vent and launches itself at the EXECUTIVE.
ANOTHER I.E. CLONE:
(grabbing the executive and shaking him by the collar)
CONGRATULATIONS!!!! YOU’VE WON A FREE LAPTOP!!!!!!
EXECUTIVE:
Aaargh, get off me! There’s so many of you!
The executive loses it and beats both of the Clones to death with his KEYBOARD.
EXECUTIVE:
Phew.
I.E.:
Sorry about that. That was embarrassing. It won’t happen again.
EXECUTIVE:
Okay, then. So what security features do you have?
I.E.:
Oh, that’s easy. The latest version of me has a plethora of new - (pause) – security additions that – (long pause) –
EXECUTIVE:
Can we hurry things up a bit?
I.E.:
Would you like a sexy screensaver?
EXECUTIVE:
Thank you for your time.
END SCENE.